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Saturday, August 20, 2011

Thoughts Running Through My Head

Tonye Bezalel Brown // 1:07 AM // , , , , , , ,
Thoughts running through my head like why am I this way
I'm needing God so dearly but it seems I keep pushing Him away
The more the trials intensify, the heat gets dehydrating
The more the sin comes and honestly it could break me
I'm tempted, why does it seem like the worst people wanna know me
I wanna be an influence but I'm scared they'll do the influencing

Couple of times I got embarrassed by my flesh and it's bad manners
But it's my pride that make it seems so, so look clear into my eyes
I may feel pain, but the joy shows forth from within
I may and do stray, take sin in by what I'm looking
At times my brain fails me, but that's cause I trust in myself
God gave me intelligence and skill not to be put against His, I'm weak when I'm by myself

I wanna read the Bible, wanna pray more, fast more
Matter of fact, I made a promise to fast to help heal my spirit's sore
Twas supposed to be seven days, but 3rd day and I'm quiting
I guess God lets me fall so I don't think I'm strong on my own and stop believing
I obey His Word though, try not to taint my ministry
God's pruning is improving me and my spiritual artilery
Artistically and legally the things that wouldn't convict me
Now make me look at my actions scrutinously, judge them all accordingly

My life is His and He is mine so I got to die to be a man on high with the Savior
My wife is His and she I hope and pray for because I want to be her gift way more important than me earning big paper
And I think of her a lot, sometimes too much and I'm fighting so she does not become an idol
Matter of fact I study and meditate more, my idoling only happens when I am idle
I haven't met her, but I wanna be ready all round when I meet her
Financially, spiritually and otherwise, I want to be able to lead her
I'm sort of a neat freak but for real, it's not OCD
Even if she litters like a kitten, I'll vacuum it up as I play a CD

Is expecting much from myself bad? I'll like to believe that God approves that
In the words of a wise man, dreams of mine laying only inside, God isn't pleased with that
Lots of dreams and visions sometimes I shared with the wrong people
Be careful of that, some souls will put your dreams down like guns do to eagles
Dreams are placed in your heart by God to show His goodness and spread the gospel
Seeking the Kingdom first no doubt could make you soar like an Eagle
But the fame isn't worth it if that's what you aim for with your ministry
What does it profit a person that's gaining the world at the cost of spiritual identity

The single most important entity is what they let slip
They ignore the spirit man, let him starve on life's road trip
They ignore the Holy Spirit who speaks through him, so he's now silent
Their consciences dead now do whatever the flesh wants, "NO!!", they've forgotten the holy Tenant
Sad thing is, soon enough He might have to temporarily move out
Light and darkness have nothing in common like you and objects that are still-life 

Memories, some good and bad, God put me through to teach me something
This gift is not mine, It's meant to be shared not kept undercover like a drug-ring
God gave it to me to bless, lot's of opportunities I let slip from me
Chances that could have brought healing from my flow; And that's what I've been dreaming

This is not to look back and regret, like why did I let sin to get me
I know that I'll be fine because His word is saying so about me.

I WILL BE FINE. YOU WILL BE FINE.

Repent for sins committed, but don't live in regret. God has forgiven you. Forgive yourself.


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